How To Be Confident In Your Personal Style
Close your eyes
and imagine yourself walking into a room full of people. Do you like what you see? Do you like the air you're giving off? Do you feel confident in your personal presence? Or do you want to improve it?
Many clients who want to improve their personal presence often start with fashion. While fashion can improve one's personal presence, it's not where to start because, according to Mikara, "confidence is the starting foundation of fashion."
In a perfect situation, once you call a stylist, your personal presence should automatically improve, especially if their service is wholistically top-notch. But this is not the case, as situations are hardly ever perfect. Let's look at this scenario:
You have the perfect outfit curated for you. You're so excited about it and you have very high expectations, but when you put on the dress, it just doesn't bang like you were expecting. Sound familiar? The problem wasn't the dress, it was a lack of existence/presents in your confidence.
Have you ever seen two people of similar sizes and body shapes in similar outfits look so different? While one person looks amazing, you can't quite put a finger on why the other person doesn't look as good. The missing quality in the other person's fashion regimen was being present in her own confidence. It is the energy that we put into clothes that brings them to life. Having some level of confidence can transform any look, even yours. This confidence is a skill set within that no one can fix for you, not even your stylist or image consultant.
Yes, we label it a skill set because it involves you being self-aware, accepting yourself wholly and, at the same time, trusting in yourself. Your confidence helps you keep up with the different phases of your life, the different changes your body goes through, the different sizes you may become due to hormonal changes, etc. As mentioned earlier, your stylist cannot make you confident when all these things happen. No one can.
Nevertheless, this is not something to feel bad about. In fact, you should take solace in the knowledge that it is not something you experience alone. Lots of people lack self-confidence too.
According to Dove global research, only 4% of women consider themselves beautiful, and anxiety about their appearance begins at an early age. This anxiety about one's looks seeps into other aspects of our lives, causing several women to have little to no confidence in themselves, their looks, their abilities, their work, etc.
With the lack of confidence young girls feel at such an early age, it is no surprise that the KPMG study found that about 75% of women executives across different industries experience self-doubt and imposter syndrome at some point in their careers.
However, knowing the problem isn't enough, and as you already know, it goes beyond fashion. You may feel good about an outfit that was curated for you, but when it comes to personal presence, it has to go hand in hand with your lifestyle, preferences, and body shape. And your confidence affects that lifestyle and much more.
Your confidence affects your personal presence so much that it has an impact on how people listen to you, how they follow your suggestions, how they even believe in you! This is because if you don't believe in yourself, it will be even harder to convince others to believe in you. Why should they?
Since confidence is such a core value and you now know that it is the starting point of fashion, whether your style is conventional or not, you should try to improve your confidence and your personal presence.
There are different ways to be more confident in your personal presence, and these exercises should help you get started.
First Exercise:
Define confidence. What does confidence mean to you? Who do you watch and wish you had their confidence? This is important because personal presence is often presented to us in different ways. For some, it is in their quiet dignity, and for others, it is in their bubbling personality. Is your idea of confidence you in a red dress, with a smirk on your face and low-heeled black shoes? Is it you walking with swinging arms with your head held high and shoulders back? Is it you speaking up for yourself? Is it you speaking at a public event? Whatever comes to mind when you think of confidence, write it down.
Additionally, who do you need validation from and why? A lot of clients are stunned on this question when they get to it and realize that, they aren’t self-validating themselves and allow others to do so.
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Second Exercise:
Get to know your doubts. It is worth investing some extra time in exploring your doubts that get in the way of your confidence. This is not to make you feel guilty or terrible; rather, it's to help you learn about your fears and how they have affected your image. The purpose of this exercise is to help you start doing what you want in spite of your doubts. This message is right at the top of the hit parade of cosmic ideas: Feel your fear and do it anyway. There are plenty of things in the world that inspire appropriate doubt. It is left to you to be, despite your doubts.
Make a list of your doubts and strengths side by side. Sometimes we focus so much on our doubts and flaws that we neglect our strengths. You're not here to feel bad about your doubts; rather, identify your strengths. In acknowledgement of your strength, you will find some confidence.
Instructions:
Take a sheet of paper and a pen. On the left side of your piece of paper, make a list of the things that make you doubt yourself and hurt your confidence.
I have doubts about ________
I have doubts about ________
I have doubts _______
On the right side of the piece of paper, write down your strengths.
I am really good at ________
I am quite good at _______
I enjoy doing _______
How did the exercise go? Remember, you have to identify the source of what's causing you not to feel confident in your presence. You also have to define confidence for yourself. All these things will help you improve your personal presence. You can download this and print it out for you to complete.
We also wanted to include a journaling sheet for you, HERE IT IS